This is where she went to school.
The Reasons:
1. She monopolized my time and energy. I hooked up with her so she could pay my bills while I focused my energy on a burgeoning career. Problem was, I had no energy left at the end of a work day/week. No energy, no career. She had defeated the purpose of being with her.
2. Her demands left my physically crippled. It was reaching the point where I couldn't meet her demands because of the physical demands of her demands. Know what I mean?
3. I was starting to hate her. If you've ever been in a bad relationship, you know that's the last sign that it's time to go. If you hate the one with whom you spend your life, you will then hate your life.
4. She had me poisoning people. Let's face it. Sugar is a drug with side effects that outweigh the potential benefits. Almost everything she had me slinging was loaded with the stuff. Conscientiously, I couldn't have that anymore.
You ask me, that's enough on its own.
That's pretty much it. Call me crazy, but the combination of these factors tells me I already waited too long to break it off. Her loss...
The Future:
Unfortunately, this decision meant jumping into the black hole once again. Having done this before, my experience was one of seemingly endless falling in Limbo. This did not bode well. I have adult responsibilities like rent, bills, providing food for myself and a couple others, etc.The future will be one of three scenarios:
1. Abject Poverty. I lose everything. Again. I have become accustomed to not doing that. Won't let it happen.
2. Shitty Day-Jorb. I go back to her, apologize and hope she'll take me back. This is worse than #1.
New Life. I persist in pursuing a line of work to which I am suited, which also provides a respectable cash flow. Harder than it sounds, given that my skill set is broad but not unusual. Have to be prepared to *claim* that I'm the best there is, and then back up that claim with immediate results.
This will remind me to stay away from that bitch forever.
#3 is clearly the way to go. In order for it to work, Step 1 is to mentally eliminate the possibility of choosing 1 or 2.
Done.
Next, dedicate my remaining time (as in, until my savings are depleted, which is about 2 weeks away) to relentless pursuit of the New Option #1-And-Only. You hear rappers talk about this all the time:
"I never had a choice." - Cale Sampson
"I did my dirt when I did it so I wouldn't have to do it now." - Treach
"No Plan B; it distracts from Plan A." - Will Smith
...and so on.
And with great power...
See you in another present.
