The Voice in Caesar's Head

Julius Caesar wasn't trusted by anybody who watched him read. Turns out he was one of the first westerners to read silently. Might be the norm now, but people thought he was some kind of freak at the time.

And like all freaks, he was eventually

killed by the local government.

I can't read silently. Lots of people can't, but sometimes I feel kinda stupid because of it.

To clarify, I can read without talking out loud, but can't understand what's written without playing it back with my mind's voice... or when I think nobody's around, my throat's voice.

Could save some embarrassment by using audio books,

but like the sound of my own voice too much.

Most people seem to be able to look at letters on a page & instantly understand them. Not me. My brain has to translate those images into sounds before it can understand them. Reading with the voice of my throat actually makes it a faster process, since the translation comes instantly that way.

It's a slower process either way. Speed-reading is a foregone conclusion.

You can call it a learning disability if you want to. I did.

We all learn with two tools, and only those two: experience and interpretation. They have to work in tandem too. If you experience without interpretation, you learn nothing. And if you simply interpret other peoples' experiences, you are - sorry - jerking off (which is also an experience, but not as good as interpreting your own experience).

Photo unavailable. Thank God.

Experience comes to us by way of five senses. Some people are blind of course, or deaf, or have numb spots and can't smell (the last of whom are often proud dog owners). On average, they're somehow just as intellectually gifted as people with all five senses.

Then there are those who,

despite having all five... 

I can see, and people who read like I do can too. In fact, I can read from great distances, amazing people with this mysterious power of 20/10 vision... Just not as quickly, and not without vocalization in either voice of mind or voice of throat.

Blows people's minds when I can recite something from memory too. Appropriate that I should be a rapper, cuz there's a shitload to remember when you rap. Learned it by ear. I can recite entire movies from start to finish, which bugs the fuck outta my girlfriend.

"You better not have heard this movie already, you bastard."

Don't jump the gun on somebody if they seem to read slowly or their lips move while they read; they have other strengths you don't have, and could mop the floor with your inadequacies. You wouldn't want somebody laughing at you because you can't identify the frequency of mic feedback with a 300Hz margin of error, would you? Then you'd feel stupid, when all you are is a little tone deaf.

Caesar used to freak people out by doing exactly what you do. That's your little genius trait. People like me are amazed by how fast you read.

See you in another present.

Blips

Might look like I'm hibernating, but don't be fooled. Ever seen what goes on under arctic ice in the winter? Frenetic down there, like Sedna let her hair down & nobody was ready for it.

...not to appropriate anything here...

It's much easier to focus when you're attention isn't split on the task & updating every little action on social media. So by today's standards, single-mindedness looks like a disappearing act. A week off now is a one-year hiatus a decade ago.

And my attention is already split anyway. Write 3 new albums (one at a time, but still). Produce & host a weekly show. Navigate Ontario's (financially crippled and woefully understaffed) mental health programs. Periodically let Student Services know I still somehow scrape by on almost nothing.

So back to work. See you in another present.